What's wrong with Mitchell?

Mitchell in a moment of reflection

 

I have a confession, I've never rated Mitchell Johnson.  Before the tattoo's and the tash I really couldn't see what all the fuss was about.  I'm no real expert but when I first saw his action I thought pretty much every kid in our back lane had better actions at the age of seven and none of them had been anywhere near a coach never mind a cricket club.  In fact, one of my first memories of a game of cricket at school was around that age.  We had a relief teacher at the time who decided we should play cricket.  We used a bin as a wicket as our school didn't really have much and the rule was you had to bowl overarm.  Now the new teacher didn't know this.  One of my oldest friends the autumn flame haired Steven Elliott grabbed the tennis ball after we lost the toss.  Steaming in he caused great controversy by unleashing the over arm delivery.  Inspired by watching footage of Willis and Botham he produced a side on action with a nice high arm.  DONG! as the ball hit the bin, it was like a church bell chiming as the wickets fell.  I think he finished with something like:


1-0-21-15 


In reply I batted first and against the underarm bowling of Christine Imlah I proceeded to smash the 22 required to win the match before the teacher shouted 'Come on Thompson, let someone else have a bat now'.

Steven Elliott, demon bowler at eight years old

 

You know what as Steven matured through childhood you could throw him a ball and he'd run in and bowl side on with the seam coming out.  What became of this working class bowling hero?  We'll he never played club cricket and probably hasn't played any cricket in the last twenty years.  But you know what?   I reckon if I tossed him the ball now he'd run and his action would be better than Mitchell Johnson's.  You see, its repeatable.


When your action is crap, the seam doesn't come out straight, you've got a low arm then there is little margin for error.  Add to that a fragile almost Harmison like heart its a heady mix.  Mitchell is now Australia's biggest bowling headache. 


Dennis Lillee on seeing Mitchell Johnson bowl declared him as ‘once-in-a-generation bowler’, even Ricky Ponting was publicly gushing about the abilities of Johnson and had said that he could not wait to have him in his team. Armed with the support of such greats he made his debut for Australia again New Zealand in 2005. Though it was an unremarkable debut he impressed the observers with the speed and the bounce he generated.


Once in a generation?  Come on Dennis, you're kidding right.  As for this pace I've yet to see it.  When he came to England I was really expecting something of the pace of Brett Lee or Shaun Tait.  The clue here was the unremarkable debut.  What Australia have got here is their very own version of Steve Harmison.  On his day on the right track he was unplayable, hostile and fast.  On an off day and there were more of these he was poor, misdirected and sullen.  We learned our lesson and Harmison is nowhere near the test team now.  Australia must learn from us.  Technical flaws and a fragile mind cannot be fixed easily.  Australia must move on and leave him behind.

Who are the obvious contenders for his spot?   Dug the Rug has had a fine year but come on, he wears a wig.  Is Strand for Strand hair technology not good enough for him?  Ryan Harris?  Really?


How old is Glenn McGrath?  Seriously get him in for the next test and he'll get more wickets than the current bunch.


On the flip side one bonus in this test was the bowling of Jimmy Anderson.  Haddin described the opening spell of him and Broad as one of the best he'd faced.  The English press has questioned his chances long before the tour began because of the mysterious Kookaburra ball.  It goes soft they exclaimed!  Loses its shine early, feels like an orange after 3 overs.  What will Anderson do?

England's bowling coach David Saker summed up the strategy such:

'He's bowling the ball in an area where he's always putting the pressure on a batsman to make a good decision, and if he can do that, he's always going to be an asset whether it's swinging or not.'
Glenn McGrath built his career on bowling in the right area and I can't ever remember him swinging the ball. 

A Grim day in 1989

During the fifth test at Trent Bridge in 1989 Marsh and Taylor batted all day and departed the field with Australia 329-0.  The worst part of that day was having to tell my Dad after a long day at work.  Working in an environment without a radio and in the day before saturated sports coverage my Dad would eagerly cycle home intent on an update.  Had time allowed he would have cycled to my Grandad's at lunchtime to catch a half an hour of TV coverage.  As he wheeled his bike into the garage I could see his earnest stare looking for some sort of reassurance regarding the score.  There was no easy way to butter it up.  I gave him it straight.


'Australia are 329-0'


'What?'


'Australia are 329-0'  


My writing talents can't really convey the complexities of emotion etched on his face as he unpacked his bike bag on his faithful Raleigh Gentleman

How refreshing it was that at last we have exacted some kind of revenge for this awful day in our ashes history and as Cook and Trott swatted away the Australian bowlers with almost disdain I thought of the harding working Australian men making their way home knowing what was going on.  The terse words for the wife, the impatience with the children and the maelstrom of confused thoughts. 

This is not what happens to Australians.