Well, I must admit that I didn't see that coming. After getting hammered for most of the past 2 Tests, Australia has thumped England to the tune of 267 runs. One all with two to play. What an exciting finish we have now.
The difference was of course the bowling. Australia built some pressure, bowled in partnerships and the guy I always knew would come good, the man with the roaring king of the jungle, lion tattoo, Mitchell Johnson turned in what Ponting has described as an "all time great spell". That might be a bit much, but his bowling in the first English innings was absolutely top class. He really can be that bowler, just not very often. It will be absolutely fascinating to see what he does for the rest of the series now. Goodness only knows why we didn't send him to the nets, I don't know, possibly before this bloody series started. Horrendous management of a bloke that clearly needs as much management as Steve Harmison (for about the same number of outstanding days worth of Test bowling it must be said). If we end up regaining the Ashes, it will be despite the support of Cricket Australia, not because of it.
It will be interesting to see what happens if Ponting succumbs to his broken finger and can't play the next Text. Will my pick, Usman Khawaja, finally get a game? Let's hope so. Surely we can't allow confirmed metro girlyman, Michael Clarke, to captain Australia in an Ashes test though ? Surely ? Let's give it to Hussey as a temporary measure, anything but Clarke. Besides, Clarke needs to get a few runs after again looking dreadful in this match.
What about the spinner's rotating Ferris wheel? Nathan Hauritz has just bashed his second consecutive Shield hundred and is taking wickets whereas lucky number 62, Michael Beer, took exactly no wickets in the Shield game he just played in. Poor old The Bowler formerly known as Xavier, took one wicket in his Shield game. If we picked this stuff on form, not on how the waters of Andrew Hilditch felt at a particular time of the night, Hauritz would be straight back in. However, as I am sure has been amply demonstrated to us, Australian spinner selection and sanity have not played well together for a couple of years now.
Despite Michael Hussey getting what can only be described as "carried away" on the 4th morning, Ryan Harris bowled well to finish off the game for Australia
***********
In stunning news that will almost certainly open the door to the time share arrangement Dave and I have thrown down on the table, Shane Warne, artfully described as the "Teflon Bogan" by Dan Silkstone in the Sydney Morning Herald, has already cheated on Farmer Liz and been dumped. Not only does Shane appear not to be slowing down, he seems actually be working quicker and quicker as he gets older.
It seems that at the same time Shane was wooing mid 40s London house wife Liz, he was sending a text message or two (OK, about 100 or so but who is counting? Actually, the woman's husband was) to a mid 40s Melbourne house wife. At least he has standards, of a sort. Anyway, the messages themselves are a real insight into how a lady likes to be courted. The Australian education system could do much, much worse than teach some of this gear in schools.
For example, one that stands out as simple, charming yet crystal clear is:
"I want to see you riding me"
I presume Shane was explaining what his yellow Lamborghini said to Kevin Pietersen which caused Shane to lend it to KP but who knows. Poetry is notoriously open to interpretation.
Shane isn't all simplicity and clarity though, he also knows how to turn on the romance. For example:
"Thinking of you, and yes very very horny today!!! Big kiss xx"
Wonderful really how he both conveys a hint of mystery (he never quite explains exactly what he is thinking about the lady) and at the same time opens up to her about his own feelings (something men are often chided for being unable to do) and then he ends it with a gentle brush of the lips upon the nape of her neck, leaving her breathless, dizzy and yet desperately wanting more.
I must confess though, that I do feel Shane is taking a tiny turn towards the possibly sinister. He does appear to be straddling, at best, the line between obsessively text harassing the lady and out and out stalking. Again, straight from the phone we have:
"Mmmm...looks like your busy in there today – your looking very hot I must say"
Apparently Shane was watching her from his office (yes, really) so thought he would take the opportunity to pass on his regards. Goodness knows I am no expert in the art of peeking through the curtains into lady's houses, but I would have thought that the law takes a slightly dim view of this in 2010. Perhaps not if you are the Teflon Bogun.
In further Shane news, I actually watched a couple of minutes of his TV show the other night and can happily report that it does indeed pip Matthew Hayden's backyard landscaping offering as the worst piece of television ever put to air. It started with Shane in full cricket whites (I presume to remind us that he used to play a bit of cricket and wasn't always a crack TV host) with teeth that were so white that they actually caused some distortion of my television picture.
They then showed a minute sample of what was to come over the hour. We were treated to a snippet of an interview with Jeremy Clarkson from UK TV show Top Gear, who explained to us that he was terrified of cricket due to his hay fever. Then we got to see three quarters mad Scottish singer Susan Boyle giggle as she started to answer Shane's question on whether she preferred men in kilts or Australians (please don't have passed on your mobile number Susan, this bloke has the energy of a small yappy dog on heat). Lastly, we saw a tiny bit of what appeared to be the most awkward moment ever caught on camera with current Australian cricket captain being interviewed by the man that still clearly wants his job. Not as many giggles in this interview it would seem. At this point, I turned off.
Shane Warne: "very very horny today"; and most days it would appear
Should be a couple of great Tests in Melbourne and Sydney now. 5 day cricket really is wonderful isn't it ? I have decided that it is time to declare: if you don't like Test cricket, you don't like cricket. Full stop.
No comments:
Post a Comment