Tuesday 7 July 2009

Minutes to Midnight


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Well, its just about to start. The 2009 Ashes is finally here. With the first ball only now minutes away, we still don't know the final make up of either of the sides, we still don't know whether we will get any play due to Welsh July weather and the ECB still haven't invented a reason for playing the first Test at Cardiff aside from Australia not having lost at Lords since 1934. As usual, Paul Nixon has an opinion, as does Warne. Interestingly, they both use the same key word: "Disgrace"

With minutes to go before kick-off, let's run through a few quick predictions

Number of rain interruptions before highlights of "Botham's Ashes" in 1981 is replayed during the English coverage: 1. With the Cardiff weather prediction, settle back into your chairs and expect it during the first two hours of the series

Number of rain interruptions before highlights of the Bodyline series from 1932 / 33 is replayed during the Australian coverage: 0. Highly likely to have already been shown multiple times, in slow motion whilst some sort of rousing music is being played. Gee, we are still cranky at Jardine. Expect to see us posthumously bring him up in front of The European Court of Human Rights at The Hague in the very near future

Best commentating combination: SBS have the Australian free to air rights and have employed Greg Matthews, Stuart McGill and the elusive Damien Martyn. Literally anything could be said. Unfortunately, Dean Jones, the man who really does say whatever he is thinking, isn't with us again this time. He and Greg Matthews were a surprisingly good team back in 2005. Let's hope Under the Grandstand is back during the lunch breaks again

Most unlikely turners of the series: The spinners of course. With all the talk of reverse swing, Flintoff and Johnson, we are risking forgetting that Australia struggle to play spin, especially left arm finger spin for some reason. Daniel Vettori, Monty Panesar and even the guy Geoff Boycott refuses to call a spinner, opting instead for "Slow Bowler", Paul Harris, have all had us in trouble in recent times. England have had a relatively warm summer so the pitches will be a little drier than normal and thus spin more. Chances of the Barmy Army re-naming the "Super Fred" song "Super Swann" by the end of the series ? Low probably, but Monty and Swann could have a much bigger impact on the outcome that most people realise.
Oh yes, Australia have Nathan Hauritz waiting eagerly in the wings, ready to ... well ... no one really knows but he is there and Warne thinks he might as well be picked now that he caught the flight

Monty is no longer England's number one spinner, but is still a clear number one in the long jump stakes

Most runs for Australia: Hussey. Endured a terrible run over the past 12 months but sprang back to form in the last couple of weeks and looks ready. I heard Nasser Hussain predict the same thing to Atherton the other night on sky and find myself in whole heated agreement. FYI, I have finally forgiven Nass for the double hundred he made at Edgbaston in 1997 whilst I watched Australia go down in 4 days and was sung to by 20,000 happy English supporters. Well, maybe not forgiven him, but I have made significant inroads into my anger.
Anyone that thinks Hussey is finished as an international cricketer hasn't watched his technique or reviewed his stats in England.

Most wickets for Australia: Peter Siddle. Unheralded I know, but will really come of age in this series

Brad Haddin and Michael Hussey look somewhat sheepish at being photographed bonding in the manner of modern Australian cricketers

Keeper to miss the most chances: Haddin. Let's be honest, he is a frustrating guy. His technique, when not really required to do much, is top class; his feet move well and his hands are soft. Give him a stumping opportunity or a regulation catch and he misses far too many of them. The fact that he is capable of getting quality runs doesn't compensate: drop Pieterson on 10 and you will need to make an awful lots of runs to get back to even. Prior is very similar to Haddin but has improved his keeping recently. Little known fact: Got his permanent place in the NSW side at the expense of my childhood wicketkeeping coach, Paul Ryan. I am still subconsciously cranky with Brad about that.
Let's just all be grateful that Geraint Jones has been put out to pasture, his woeful wicketkeeping was a terrible low light of 2005

Runs made by Mitchel Johnson: 385. I predict, somewhat boldly, that Mitchell will score a 130, two 80s and a few other bits and pieces. Expect to be amazed by his batting, he plays quality shots and hits the ball hard. Of course, the ball could swing and he might get 8 ducks. Let's see !

Most wickets for England: Anderson. I have watched Jimmie on TV quite a bit and he has improved tremendously. He now swings it both ways at pace and Australia will struggle with him

Most runs for England: Difficult to go past predicting Pieterson here but I am going with Strauss. Has thrived with the bat since taking on the captaincy and I see nothing changing in this series.

Result: A tough one but I am going with Australia winning 2-1


On with the show !

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Ashes to all, and to all a good-Ashes."

A spinner: Just what Ricky always wanted !

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